How to deal

Navigating fertility challenges is already so hard. Dealing with people’s insensitive comments makes it even harder. That’s why we want to help! We’re offering tips and advice from the community on how to handle hurtful remarks. We also created guides for loved ones that can help them understand what you’re going through and teach them how to better support you.

They said what!?

Let’s face it, sometimes our friends or family can say things that feel unkind, which can make spending time with them super stressful. We hear you! That’s why our OUT LOUD INSIDERS are sharing some of the most outrageous questions or comments they’ve received and how they’ve dealt with it.

Christina Rodriguez, @christinanrodriguez

The truth of the matter is
that as we age our fertility is impacted, but being
reminded is insensitive and
not helpful. Beyond that,
the age that fertility
challenges occur can vary
from person to person. This
isn’t one size fits all...!

Jess Oakes, @jessicasoakes

People don’t say this to be mean, but it’s difficult to
hear when you’re doing
everything to get pregnant.
Education is your key here.
Say something like ‘Wow,
that’s incredible, but please
know comments like that
are really hard to hear when
you can’t get pregnant—
with or without trying.’

Victoria Nino, @expectinganything

Because I used an egg donor, many people are confused
about whose baby it is. My
typical response is ‘Yes, it is
my baby. My daughter
shares genetics with our
donor, but the mothering is
ALL me. I grew my
daughter’s embryo from a
tiny speck to a healthy baby
and have nurtured and loved
her ever since.’

Help them help you

Most people don’t realize they're being hurtful when they say or ask insensitive things. So, use those situations to set boundaries. Swipe through common phrases and questions that can help communicate to your community why certain remarks aren't okay and suggest how they can better support you.

Help us spread the word! Download each slide to post on your Instagram and Facebook story—and don't forget to tag @fertilityoutloud

STOP ASKING THIS!

You don’t know if I’ve been trying for a while or
the
problems I may be facing. Frankly, it’s no
one’s
business. Instead, let me come to you with
that news.

Please stop saying this.

No one likes being told to “relax”; it’s not helpful.
So
instead of SAYING it, help me DO it by
offering
to hang out or go for dinner, or by just letting me vent.

My journey is personal.

You have no idea the avenues I’ve explored so far. There
are lots of different options like IUI, IVF, IVC, surrogacy,
and yes, adoption…but maybe we just aren’t there yet.

This one is hard to hear.

Conceiving naturally may not happen for me, but that
doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be a parent. This journey
takes a lot of strength and that
should be celebrated.

Secondary infertility is a very
real and common thing.

Everyone’s dream of what their family looks like is
different. I’m still determined to make
mine a reality.

This is exhausting.

I’d love nothing more than to be a part of the “parenting
woes” club. So, please stop trying to show me the silver
lining; it feels like you’re
writing off my pain.

Dealing, together

When it comes down to it, your partner and loved ones just want to be supportive—but they may need a little help or educating to do so. These guides were made to share with those around you to help them understand your journey and how they can be there for you.

10 Ways to Be a Supportive Partner

Send your partner these tips on how they can better be there for you throughout the journey

Understanding My Fertility Journey

Educate loved ones on the treatments and procedures you may experience and how they may make you feel

We’ve got your back!

Dealing with infertility is easier with a supportive community. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to hear more advice and connect with people who know what you’re going through.

Fertility Out Loud