Two Big Blessings | Fertility Out Loud

My Fertility Journey: Two Big Blessings

The views and opinions expressed are those of the authors and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult your doctor for the most appropriate treatment.

In 2020, I experienced a mother’s worst nightmare: walking into an ultrasound appointment to check on my baby, only to find out our baby no longer had a heartbeat. 

That was the first time we had ever experienced a miscarriage, something we were so naive about and never thought would happen to us. Because I was already entering the second trimester, I ended up having to get a D&C (dilation and curettage, which is a surgical procedure to remove tissue from the uterus). 

After taking some time to heal, my husband and I began trying again. This time was different. Months went on and we weren’t having success. I eventually got a referral to a fertility clinic to get everything checked out and make sure there wasn’t something going on causing me to not get pregnant. I got a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) done, which confirmed that both of my fallopian tubes had full blockage from scar tissue, and the only way we would be able to conceive again was through in vitro fertilization (IVF). We were heartbroken. 

Shortly after processing this news, we decided to jump into IVF, as we did not know what to expect or how long this would take. While getting testing done to begin the IVF process, the doctors discovered that I had hyperthyroidism, as well as Graves’ disease. This helped to prove that our first miscarriage was the result of my Graves’ disease coming out of remission, as well as my thyroid levels spiking. Before we could move forward with IVF, I needed to get my thyroid under control and see an endocrinologist. 

I was one of the youngest patients that my doctor had seen to have such high Graves’ antibodies, as well as such a low thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH). My body proved that it couldn’t handle pregnancy, and there was a very low chance I would be able to carry successfully without my levels spiking. I was put on medication right away to control my thyroid, but the medication I was put on would be too strong and harmful for a growing baby. However, not taking medication would result in my thyroid going haywire. Lose, lose. 

That was when we turned to surrogacy. Our prayers were answered when an old friend popped up on my phone saying she would carry for us after seeing our story on social media. We navigated all the ins and outs of the surrogacy process on our own. 

After a long 6 months, our surrogate’s transfer date was approaching, and I still could not fathom never being able to carry a baby. I was in denial. I knew I needed a second opinion. 

I met an amazing doctor who was on board with me attempting to carry once more while we waited for our surrogate’s transfer. To our surprise, my transfer worked. I knew I had a long way to go, and I was not confident that we were going to meet this baby, but I tried to stay hopeful. 

I knew I had a long way to go… but I tried to stay hopeful.

Ten weeks later, our surrogate transferred our embryo and once again, to our surprise, it worked! We were pregnant alongside each other. Each passing week, I prepared to lose the baby I was carrying, but that never happened. I stayed pregnant and gave birth to my daughter, Banks, in January of 2022. 

Our surrogate, Taylor, gave birth to my son, Hayes, in March of 2022. We will never be able to thank my doctor enough, as well as our surrogate, who gave us the biggest blessings I could have ever asked for. 

This year, we decided we wanted to grow our family once more and give Banks and Hayes a sibling. As always, nothing can go as planned. I ended up having an ectopic pregnancy in February and a failed transfer last month, and we are currently preparing for one more transfer attempt in August. Thank you to those who have read our story and supported us from afar!

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