The views and opinions expressed are those of the authors and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult your doctor for the most appropriate treatment.
When we got married in September of 2015, we knew we wanted a family. We also knew we wanted time to adjust not only to married life but also to living with someone else for the very first time. It wasn’t long before we decided to start “trying,” and without any doubt in our minds, we set a timeline for when we would get pregnant.
We didn’t think it would take any time at all and began planning our life with kids instantly. I was honestly surprised that we didn’t get pregnant the very first month, but I figured my body was adjusting to coming off birth control and let it go. Months 2 and 3 came and went, and I began to wonder if something was wrong. Rational-thinking Tony reminded me that it can take some time, so we just kept trying.
Month 6 was the very first time I was “late,” and I just knew that it was finally our time. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right, but Tony wanted to just keep trying and wait until the 1-year mark before seeking help.
In September 2017, after returning from our anniversary trip, Tony finally agreed to begin testing. We were not prepared for the results we were about to get.
We were not prepared for the results we were about
Feeling defeated, in November 2017, we sat across from our doctor, who was telling us that the chances of us conceiving naturally was less than 1%. We were crushed, but we kept trying. Tony was very hopeful that the doctors might be wrong and maybe, just maybe, we needed some more time. But time just kept passing, and the negative tests just kept stacking up.
We agreed that it was time we sought more help and in November 2018, we met with our in vitro fertilization (IVF) doctor and moved forward right away. We created 5 beautiful embryos from our first retrieval and were convinced that we were going to be parents. Our first transfer was perfect, and there was no doubt in our minds that it was going to work. But the day before Mother’s Day in 2019, we got the news that our beta was negative. We couldn’t believe it.
We went on to transfer again 2 more times, believing that it was going to eventually work—how could it not? Unfortunately, after 3 failed embryos, we said goodbye to our precious babies. We never thought we would have to do another retrieval, especially after going through ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) and the traumatizing experience that it was. We hoped that we would never have to endure that again.
We knew there was no guarantee, but we truly believed with every part of our being that we would have success. Tony and I are currently healing and trying to pick up the pieces before we decide what is next. After 6 years of trying, we don’t know what is up ahead, but we are hopeful. We know we want to be parents, and we can’t wait to see that happen one day, some way.